Ever hear those people who tell you you gotta give "110%" all the time in order to be successful?
Yeah, well, what do they know?
Copywriter Gary Bencivenga shares the lowdown on the Pareto Principle (what most of us simply call the "80/20" rule) and tells us why we really ought to be focusing our effort on just 20% of what we're doing...
1. I'll never be successful because of my background, education, etc.
Anybody can be successful. It's a matter of wanting to, then doing what it takes to achieve it.
2. I make too many mistakes; successful people don't make mistakes.
Successful people make mistakes just like we all do. They just don't repeat them.
3. I'll have to work 60 (70, 80, 90...) hours a week to be successful.
It's not a matter of doing A LOT of something; it's about doing the right thing at the right time, and being consistent and persistent in pursuing you're goals.
4. I'm too much of a renegade to be a success; I'll only be a success if I "play by the rules."
Who makes up the rules anyway? Each situation is different. Sometimes following the rules is needed, other times making up your own rules is what's required
5. If I have help along the way, it's not really success.
Success rarely occurs in a vacuum. Recognize the people who help you become successful, there are plenty of them.
6. I'm not lucky enough to be successful.
Okay, successful people were also "lucky", but it takes a lot more hard work, diligence, knowledge, application, and effort to be a success than it does luck.
7. It's only success if I make a lot of money... and I haven't made a lot of money.
Money is just one way to measure success, but there are plenty of others: happiness, health, wisdom, friendship, etc.
8. It's only success if everybody knows it.
Look, there are plenty of successful people out there who you have never seen nor heard of. Does that make them any less successful?
9. Success is just another goal.
Success is more what you get when you achieve the goals you've set for yourself. Saying that you "want to be a success" begs the question: "At what?"
10. Once I'm successful, my troubles are over.
You may be successful, but you're not God. You'll still have the ups and downs that you did before. Enjoy what success you achieve and live each day as it comes.
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...For more ideas on success, subscribe to my internet newsletter, THE BIG IDEA.
Wow, I can't believe I haven't posted this already, but here's a fantastic idea I picked up (gulp) last year from Brand Examiner Paul over at BRAND EXAMINER.
Give this some thought, then assemble your own Board of Directors to inspire and motivate you!
My board?
Face facts: Everyone gets angry.
Everyone.
None of us are immune to anger, although some of us are better at dealing with it than others. Luckily, each of us can learn how deal with anger.
All it takes is understanding the 5 facets of anger, that is, the components that make up and create anger for most of us in our daily lives.
A - ASSUMPTIONS
Perhaps the most frequent component of anger, ASSUMING causes us all sorts of grief. We get angry because we assume one thing about a person or situation, and then are presented with facts that differ from that assumption. We buy a new printer, for example, and we assume that everything we need to use the printer, once we get it home, is in the box. We get angry when we open the box and discover that we also need a printer cable that is NOT included in the box. Or we assume that our partner is going to cook dinner, fix the car, pick up the kids, or some other chore, only to get angry when our partner doesn't do that.
N - NEGATIVITY
Facet two, NEGATIVITY, is most often an extension of the assumptions we make.
Think about it: Do you know anyone who gets angry because they assumed something POSITIVE about a situation/person? I don't.
A large portion of our anger comes from us looking at someone from a negative perspective and assuming negative intentions. --Curse that guy who pulled out in front of me on the freeway without using his turn signal! He must not care about anybody but himself.... Darn that kid of mine, once again he didn't take out the trash; he's just lazy and unmotivated...
G - GREED
This third facet, GREED, is a tough one. Tough to face and tougher to accept, that is.
I tried hard to find another word to summarize this aspect, but hey, greed fits (and it starts with a "G" giving me the nice "A.N.G.E.R." acronym)!
Ultimately, we get angry when we don't get what we want. And most of us want a lot. Without question. Often without good reason. If we don't get it, look out, Anger, here we come!
Now, we don't always react with anger when we don't get what we want, but when we are angry, if we look closely, we'll usually see that there is some element of us wanting something different than what we have.
E - EMOTION
This facet, EMOTION, may seem redundant. Anger, after all, is an emotion, right? Well, yeah...
But emotion makes emotion. That is: as we express our anger, we tend to create anger in others. Then we get angrier, which makes them angrier in turn. And so on.
It's also important to think of this facet of anger in comparison to INTELLECT, which we can use to balance our emotional response to anger.
R - REACTION
Finally, the fifth facet is REACTION.
Anger is always a product of our reaction to a real, or imagined (see numbers 1-3), event. The best way to minimize our anger is to get out of the habit of reacting to situations. Yeah, I know: "easier said than done."
Really, though, if we look at the other four facets and how they play out when we get angry, coping with anger gets to be much easier....
Of course, this is an over-simplified look at anger, and it doesn't take into account a lot of things (such as "righteous" anger that leads people like Gandhi or Marting Luther King, Jr. to begin world-changing civil and social movements), but it is, I think, a start.
Rich over at HelloWorldBlog.com shares a poem with a great theme on how we approach problems and whether or not we're truly solving them....
Just a short collection of random thoughts today...
Certitude
George Will wrote an excellent column this week in NEWSWEEK on Oddness and Certitude.. Well worth reading.
You're Hired!
Watching the finale of this season's The Apprentice it struck me that millions of Americans will spend hours and hours and hours watching reality t.v. shows like this when, if they spent that same time working on their own goals, they could be just as successful as the winners of these various reality (cough, cough) contests.
So why not turn off the t.v. (April 25th is the start of T.V. Turnoff Week by the way...)
Hoe-ing the seeds of doubt
Handling a few issues in my own life this week, I discovered how important it is to eradicate any seeds of doubt early on in any venture. If you don't, they become weeds of doubt, with strong, deep roots that are hard to get rid of.
Much as I try to avoid gardening metaphors when it comes to self-help (gardening metaphors having been used to their best and ultimate purpose in Jerzy Kosinski 's great screenplay BEING THERE -- directed by Hal Ashby and starring Peter Sellers in perhaps his best role ever), this one I think is worth sharing.
1. Remember, if you don't ask, it will NEVER happen.
Wayne Gretzky once said, "One hundred percent of the shots I don't make don't go in." Likewise, the unasked question is never answered.
2. Don't beat around the bush.
Just ask!
3. If it's an extraordinary request, say so.
BIG requests are often the best requests. Be 100% upfront and honest about what you want and what's involved.
4. If the request is work that YOU normally (or should) do, explain why you can't.
You don't need to provide tons of detail, but again, be honest with the person you're asking (and with yourself).
5. Don't assume you know what the answer will be.
Maybe they'll say "No." Of course, they might say "Yes."
6. Recognize that the person *can* say "No."
You may not like it, but it will happen from time to time. Accept it and move on.
7. Request one thing at a time.
Asking for help, assistance, changes, etc., is fine, but don't overwhelm a person with multiple requests all at once.
8. Request clearly.
If there's an exact way it needs to be done, let the person know. Give them all the information to make a good decision, but also so they can really do what you need them to do.
9. Trust the person to do the right thing.
If you request clearly and the person has said that they'll do it, expect they'll do it correctly. Don't follow them around and hound them about it.
10. Say "Thank you." (Even if they turn you down.)
---Jim M. Allen, The Big Idea Coach
Connecting with someone, establishing rapport, does not have to be a difficult thing, although many people find it so. Here are ten key points to remember whenever you set off to meet new people...
1. Be happy with yourself.
Much of the insecurity we feel in meeting new people has to do with how we feel about ourselves as opposed to the other person. Work hard and develop positive self-esteem.
2. Act Confident...
...even if you're not! Chances are the other person is as nervous as you are.
3. Expect to connect.
Think positive. Tell yourself that you will connect with people... and you will.
4. Smile!
It's hard NOT to connect with somebody who's cheerful and smiling.
5. Notice others.
Maybe they are smiling and cheerful. Maybe you are attracted to something they are saying or discussing, whatever. Just look for reasons to connect with people instead of excuses NOT to.
6. Listen.
One of the greatest gifts you can give another person is to listen to them. Instead of jumping in to say something, listen a bit longer instead.
7. Ask questions.
Go one step further and truly take an interest in what they are talking about. Ask thoughtful questions that draw them out and focus the conversation on them.
8. Connect with individuals.
You can speak to, present to, teach, or train large groups, but you can only really connect with the individuals in that group. Emphasize this aspect of your communication and build those one-on-one connections.
9. Be willing to compromise.
Meeting new people or working with new people invariably means running into positions, opinions, and practices you don't agree with. If you want to build the relationship, expect to compromise from time to time.
10. Treat others as you'd like to be treated.
Just to start.
As you get to know each other work hard to treat them like they want to be treated (which may be very different way, indeed).
-- Jim M. Allen, The Big Idea Coach
Sure, it's easy to say, "Change your attitude and you'll change your life," but how do you do that if you don't know what to do? After all, if changing one's attitude was easy why don't more people do it? Especially if it means they could be happier, more joyful, and much more successful?
Honestly, I don't know.
What I do know, however, is that changing one's attitude doesn't need to be difficult.... All you need is to consistently employ a few simple techniques and you'll be on your way.
T0 get you started, here are my 10 tips on how to change your attitude today. Good luck!
1. Think like you want to be
It's tough to be happy, joyful, successful, etc. if you don't think that you are a happy, joyful, and successful person.
Think it first, then do it!
2. Smile
Multiple studies have shown that smiling has both psychological and physiological effects. Putting a smile on your face will put you on your way to a change in attitude!
3. Immerse yourself
Read books, articles, magazines that help you understand and adopt the new attitude you want to have. Watch films or listen to music that inspires and encourages you to change.
4. Change your actions
It's hard to change your attitude if you keep doing the same old stuff the same old way.
You gotta do things differently to start thinking differently.
5. Change your environment
Make your environment reflect the attitude you wish to have. Create the physical spaced that makes you eager to change.
6. Follow the leader
Find someone who already has the attitude you wish to have. Follow their lead, learn from their example.
7. Help others (and help yourself)
One of the fastest ways to change your attitude is to take the focus off yourself and to help others in need.
8. Get a little help from your friends
Let your closest friends and associates know what you're doing and enlist their support to help you change. The more you feel like you're part of a group effort, the more likely you are to be successful.
9. Get a pro
If the change you desire to make is extremely radical, consider getting the help of a mentor, counselor, or coach. These professionals can reduce the time & frustration involved, as well as provide you with many new ideas to help you grow.
10. Be patient
Recognize that most changes occur slowly, over an extended period of time. If you don't get immediate results, don't be surprised and DON'T QUIT!
Keep working, it'll come.
