Big Idea Coach

10 Tips For Asking People For Help

1. Remember, if you don't ask, it will NEVER happen.

Wayne Gretzky once said, "One hundred percent of the shots I don't make don't go in." Likewise, the unasked question is never answered.

2. Don't beat around the bush.

Just ask!

3. If it's an extraordinary request, say so.

BIG requests are often the best requests. Be 100% upfront and honest about what you want and what's involved.

4. If the request is work that YOU normally (or should) do, explain why you can't.

You don't need to provide tons of detail, but again, be honest with the person you're asking (and with yourself).

5. Don't assume you know what the answer will be.

Maybe they'll say "No." Of course, they might say "Yes."

6. Recognize that the person *can* say "No."

You may not like it, but it will happen from time to time. Accept it and move on.

7. Request one thing at a time.

Asking for help, assistance, changes, etc., is fine, but don't overwhelm a person with multiple requests all at once.

8. Request clearly.

If there's an exact way it needs to be done, let the person know. Give them all the information to make a good decision, but also so they can really do what you need them to do.

9. Trust the person to do the right thing.

If you request clearly and the person has said that they'll do it, expect they'll do it correctly. Don't follow them around and hound them about it.

10. Say "Thank you." (Even if they turn you down.)

                                                                         ---Jim M. Allen, The Big Idea Coach

How to Connect With Anyone

Connecting with someone, establishing rapport, does not have to be a difficult thing, although many people find it so. Here are ten key points to remember whenever you set off to meet new people...

1. Be happy with yourself.

Much of the insecurity we feel in meeting new people has to do with how we feel about ourselves as opposed to the other person. Work hard and develop positive self-esteem.

2. Act Confident...

...even if you're not! Chances are the other person is as nervous as you are.

3. Expect to connect.

Think positive. Tell yourself that you will connect with people... and you will.

4. Smile!

It's hard NOT to connect with somebody who's cheerful and smiling.

5. Notice others.

Maybe they are smiling and cheerful. Maybe you are attracted to something they are saying or discussing, whatever. Just look for reasons to connect with people instead of excuses NOT to.

6. Listen.

One of the greatest gifts you can give another person is to listen to them. Instead of jumping in to say something, listen a bit longer instead.

7. Ask questions.

Go one step further and truly take an interest in what they are talking about. Ask thoughtful questions that draw them out and focus the conversation on them.

8. Connect with individuals.

You can speak to, present to, teach, or train large groups, but you can only really connect with the individuals in that group. Emphasize this aspect of your communication and build those one-on-one connections.

9. Be willing to compromise.

Meeting new people or working with new people invariably means running into positions, opinions, and practices you don't agree with. If you want to build the relationship, expect to compromise from time to time.

10. Treat others as you'd like to be treated.

Just to start.

As you get to know each other work hard to treat them like they want to be treated (which may be very different way, indeed).

-- Jim M. Allen, The Big Idea Coach

Change Your Attitude -- Today!

Sure, it's easy to say, "Change your attitude and you'll change your life," but how do you do that if you don't know what to do? After all, if changing one's attitude was easy why don't more people do it? Especially if it means they could be happier, more joyful, and much more successful?

Honestly, I don't know.

What I do know, however, is that changing one's attitude doesn't need to be difficult.... All you need is to consistently employ a few simple techniques and you'll be on your way.

T0 get you started, here are my 10 tips on how to change your attitude today.  Good luck!

1. Think like you want to be

It's tough to be happy, joyful, successful, etc. if you don't think that you are a happy, joyful, and successful person.

Think it first, then do it!

2. Smile

Multiple studies have shown that smiling has both psychological and physiological effects. Putting a smile on your face will put you on your way to a change in attitude!

3. Immerse yourself

Read books, articles, magazines that help you understand and adopt the new attitude you want to have. Watch films or listen to music that inspires and encourages you to change.

4. Change your actions

It's hard to change your attitude if you keep doing the same old stuff the same old way.

You gotta do things differently to start thinking differently.

5. Change your environment

Make your environment reflect the attitude you wish to have. Create the physical spaced that makes you eager to change.

6. Follow the leader

Find someone who already has the attitude you wish to have. Follow their lead, learn from their example.

7. Help others (and help yourself)

One of the fastest ways to change your attitude is to take the focus off yourself and to help others in need.

8. Get a little help from your friends

Let your closest friends and associates know what you're doing and enlist their support to help you change. The more you feel like you're part of a group effort, the more likely you are to be successful.

9. Get a pro

If the change you desire to make is extremely radical, consider getting the help of a mentor, counselor, or coach. These professionals can reduce the time & frustration involved, as well as provide you with many new ideas to help you grow.

10. Be patient

Recognize that most changes occur slowly, over an extended period of time. If you don't get immediate results, don't be surprised and DON'T QUIT!

Keep working, it'll come.